Happy Independence Day!

It's been one heck of a roller coaster ride for the past... I don't know... week or so? I was lied to and back-stabbed by my supposed best friends all within a couple of hours. Since then, I've forgiven one, but not the other. It's a long story.

Basically, it started out with the female friend needing "help" and texting the male friend. The male friend felt it was his duty to go to her house, pick her up and take her to Sonic. At Sonic, he ordered food, and while they were hugging, he kissed her. I'm not sure who's side to believe on this next part, but: According to the male friend, the female friend wanted to keep kissing once HE pulled away, but the female friend said they stopped...or something like that. In the end, they both decided it was best not to tell me. The female friend told me the next day when she was answering a survey question on myspace: "Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?" She said: "No comment..." I grilled her until she finally admitted that she kissed my guy friend the night before. I acted calm and stuff, but inside, I was fuming. Questions like "Were they ever going to tell me?" ran through my head at such a fast pace. Eventually, she had to get off the phone (a bit of a relief, since it was mostly awkward silence after she told me). Later that day, I started questioning my guy friend on AIM. He finally spilled after I told him that she told me what had happened.

They both lost my trust. He could've comforted her through text messages, not by taking her to sonic and making out with her. I've forgiven the female friend, just because she didn't know what happened. The guy friend... well, that will take some time to figure out. He swore to me he would NEVER kiss any of my friends (especially her), but he broke his word, therefore losing my trust. Why, oh WHY did he do that? I don't know. Both of them said they weren't thinking (obviously)... we'll see what the future holds.

I've decided it's time to find a new church home. I don't feel comfortable with the youth there, I hardly get along with them, one of the girls I did talk to on a regular basis is moving away soon, and now my supposed best guy friend is now no longer that. I haven't spoken to him in a long time, and I don't want to until I've forgiven him completely. So if anyone knows of any Methodist churches in Amarillo, let me know. I know of two churches that have a great youth with people I know (and get along with), but I'm not sure yet. I just need a new church home. Now. As much as I love a few of the adults up at SSUMC, I can't be accepted for me there. It frustrates me so much.

I've come to realize that, of the three people I trusted most, I can only trust one fully ever again. The other two lost it, though one is working at getting my trust back. I've already explained this story. I do have one more guy friend that I can trust completely. I think I've abused his friendship a little by opening up a lot to him. :P I wish I could talk to him a little more than I do, but I can't. He's got his friends, I've got mine. We have attempted to hang out for three seconds (which we FINALLY succeeded in doing the other day), but our attempts will be lost due to friggin band camp at WT and summer band up at the school. Psh. IT'S A STATE YEAR! :D

Speaking of WT, it's looking like it'll be the college I end up going to. It's cheaper than most, and it's close to home, so... yeah. Great music, education, and English programs, which is what I'm excited about. It seems like a great school, and the campus is very nice. It's in a small town, which is great. I'm thinking that (assuming that's where I go) I'm not going to live on campus. I might just stay home for a semester (maybe a whole year) then rent an apartment just off campus or in Amarillo for the rest of college. I wouldn't mind living alone, but having a roommate wouldn't be bad either. I think living alone would be a great experience... but that's just me.

Tonight, I'm going over to the park (iPod handy, just in case) to watch the fireworks. I'm really excited, seeing as usually, I'm stuck at home, attempting to watch the display from my trampoline or begging my mom to let me sit on the roof. Being able to see it will be greeeeaaaaaaaattttt. It's one of those small things I can never take for granted. I'll be a happy little girl tonight when I go to bed. Haha...

Hopefully you all enjoy your Independence day. I know I am... then again, I'm extremely independent, so everyday is Independence day to me. :) If you read my blog, leave me a comment or something. I'm not sure how many people do read this... lol. And daaaaaaaang. This is a short blog. :P

Best wishes.